FIELD GUIDE TO THE CRAWLERS OF THE DUNGEON
Entry No. 6: Kayla
Common name: The Horizontal
Scientific name: Couchus reclinata
Status: Non-migratory
IDENTIFICATION. Recognized by her posture, which is level. Rarely observed upright. Almost always located on a couch on whichever floor the Dungeon is currently using. The couch arrives with her. It has never been observed being carried.
HABITAT. Floor 3, the Hall of Mirrored Failures. On Monday she positioned the couch facing her assigned mirror, so she could watch the TV behind her without turning around. The System has rated this the single most efficient use of a mirror on the floor.
BEHAVIOR, WEEK 5. Paired with Kelsey, Queen of the Rats, in what the System is now calling the best matchup of Season 3. On Friday night the Queen’s Pendant woke. On Sunday night the final score posted.
Kelsey 193.7. Kayla 192.7.
One point. The System checked it three times. The mirrors checked it more.
System Notice RESULT: L. MARGIN: 1.0. RECORD: 3-2. RANK: FIFTH.
System Notice ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: CLOSER THAN SHE APPEARS. LOST THE GAME OF THE WEEK BY ONE POINT. THE ENTIRE DUNGEON SAT UP FOR THE LAST HOUR OF IT. SHE DID NOT.
CALL. None recorded. She received the final score, looked at it for a moment, said “ok,” and pressed the one button she uses on the remote.
OBSERVER’S NOTE. The System does not reward losses. The System is making one exception this season, and this is it.
System Notice UNIQUE ITEM AWARDED: BIRD WATCHING BINOCULARS OF THE FLOCK. EFFECT: IF YOU HAVE ZERO PLAYERS ON IR AT THE END OF THE SCORING PERIOD, +5 PTS. AUTOMATIC. THE COMMISSIONER CHECKS IR AFTER SCORES CLOSE.
She set them on the armrest beside the Swamp-Proofed Remote Control, which is also unused. Then she picked them up, pointed them at the mirror, and looked at the System through it. The System waved. In the mirror, the System waved back about half a second later.
SIGHTINGS, WEEK 6. Expected opponent: the System. Me. The System has been told the binoculars work at very long range. The System has moved the shelf.
CONSERVATION STATUS. Least Concern. She is not concerned.