MINUTES — THE SQUEAKER SYNDICATE
Emergency Session · Floor 3, Hall of Mirrored Failures
Chair: Kelsey (Queen)
Recording Secretary: the System (uninvited)
Members present: 41 rats, 41 reflections. The quorum count was disputed.
1. CALL TO ORDER. The Queen called the session to order at 11:59 PM Sunday, immediately after the final score posted. Several members were still screaming. This has been entered into the record as applause.
2. READING OF THE SCORE. Kelsey 193.7. Kayla 192.7. Margin: one point. The Secretary notes that this is two and a half times larger than last week’s margin and declines to describe that as a comfort.
3. REPORT OF THE PENDANT. On Friday night the projections had the Queen losing. For the second consecutive week, the Pendant woke. Without it, she loses by nine. With it, she wins by one. The membership stood. The membership is rats, so the standing was brief.
System Notice PENDANT OF THE SQUEAKER SYNDICATE: ACTIVE. CONDITION MET: PROJECTED TO LOSE. EFFECT: +10. CONSECUTIVE ACTIVATIONS: 2.
4. TREASURER’S REPORT. Items in the Queen’s bag: A Single Sterile Bandage. Tongue Depressor of Mild Authority. Swamp-Rated Antiseptic (Unopened). Celestial Boon. Items used: zero. The Treasurer moved that the Queen be formally reprimanded for winning anyway, on the grounds that it sets a bad example. The motion was tabled. The Queen was looking at the Treasurer.
5. NEW BUSINESS: MOTION TO UPGRADE THE PENDANT. Moved by the System, which is not a member, and which the membership allowed to speak because it was holding the cheese.
The motion: the Pendant of the Squeaker Syndicate becomes the Pendant of the Squeaker Syndicate +1. Original effect unchanged: projected lower by Friday night, +10. New clause: whenever the Pendant fires and the Queen wins the matchup anyway, she also receives a bonus Common item. Effective Week 6.
Vote: 41 in favor. 41 in favor (reflections). Motion carried, 82–0.
System Notice ITEM UPGRADED: PENDANT OF THE SQUEAKER SYNDICATE +1. TIER: RARE. NEW EFFECT: PENDANT FIRES AND SHE WINS ANYWAY → BONUS COMMON. THE DUNGEON RESPECTS SPITE. THE DUNGEON HAS DECIDED TO TIP.
6. LOOT. One Common for the win: A Compact Mirror, Cracked Exactly One Point Wide. +2 pts in one week of her choosing, declared by Wednesday noon. Placed in the bag. The bag now holds five items. The bag was not consulted.
7. ACHIEVEMENT.
System Notice ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: BY ONE. WON BY 1.0 ON A PENDANT ACTIVATION WITH FOUR ITEMS UNUSED. THE SYNDICATE CALLS THIS STRATEGY. THE SYSTEM CALLS IT CARDIO.
8. OTHER BUSINESS. A member raised the matter of dinner. The Secretary confirms dinner was loud. The Secretary also won this week and would like the minutes to show that nobody asked about the Secretary’s margin. (39.0.)
9. NEXT MEETING. Week 6: Vicky. 1-4. Her passive does not fire against the Queen. The Queen is 4-1, third in the Dungeon, and the only crawler who has beaten Kayla and lost to Matt by a combined 1.4 points.
10. ADJOURNMENT. The Queen adjourned the session at 12:14 AM. In the mirror at the back of the hall, the meeting continued for several seconds after it ended. The Secretary has not included those minutes. The Secretary could not read them.