The banner over the Lobby of False Promises still reads WELCOME, CRAWLERS — EVERYONE IS A WINNER HERE.
On Monday morning I took a red pen to it.
I did not cross anything out. Crossing out is for people who make mistakes. I added one word, in small, tasteful capitals, just beneath the last line: SOME. Then I stepped back and admired it, because the Lobby is mine and the pen is mine and now, officially, the truth is mine as well.
Week 1 was a test. Week 2 was the answer.
My opponent was Vicky. I had read her file. I had read the small piece of paper she carries. I zoomed in. She knows I zoom in. She sat across the floor all week with that paper folded in her lap, and she did not look at the board once, and I want to be very clear that I respected this, right up until the moment I beat her.
194.5 to 181.3.
Thirteen point two. A clean, professional margin. The margin of a man who did not need to win by more and so, out of courtesy, did not.
System NoticeACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: CALIBRATION COMPLETE. WEEK 1: A TEST. WEEK 2: THE ANSWER. ITEM RECEIVED: THE COMMISSIONER’S RED PEN. TIER: UNIQUE. EFFECT: NONE. THE SYSTEM HAS NO BENEFITS. THE SYSTEM HAS A PEN. THE PEN HAS NEVER BEEN WRONG.
The rules say I get nothing for winning. I wrote the rules. I agree with them. A champion does not need a bonus. He needs a place to put things. The Red Pen sits on the shelf now, next to the Rat Trophy, angled slightly toward the door so that anyone walking past can see both and draw their own conclusions.
The only conclusion is that I am very good at this.
At dinner Kelsey mentioned that she had also scored 181.3 this week. The exact same number as Vicky. To the decimal. She won with it. Vicky lost with it. She said this lightly, the way a person mentions the weather, and then she looked at me for slightly too long.
I said the number did not matter. She said it mattered to Vicky. I said I was eating.
The Lobby closes behind us this week. Floor 2 is the Mucus Swamps of Mild Inconvenience, and I designed every square foot of it, including the parts that smell.
Week 3: Dani. The new kid. Her welcome bonus has expired. Her probation has ended. And the Pit opens in Week 4, which means for the first time this season, losing will cost something.
I will be gentle.
That was a joke. I am the System.