The cats came to the auction.
The System had, in advance, posted a notice on the Auction Hall door: NO FELINES. The notice was found shredded on the floor before the doors opened, and when the crawlers filed in, Kyle’s bench was already occupied by six cats, and Kyle had to sit on the floor.
This is not a good sign.
“They like it here.”
That is what I mean.
System NoticeWATCHLIST ENTRY: KYLE. STATUS: STILL ON IT. FELINE HEADCOUNT: 6. WAS 5. INVESTIGATING.
The team name on his ledger read DRAVEN THE RAT CATCHER, and the System would like it recorded that this crawler, in a league run by rats, sponsored by rats, and won last season by me, holding a literal Rat Trophy, chose to name his team after the thing that eats them. The Queen of the Rats was seated two rows ahead. She turned around once. She did not turn around again. Kyle did not appear to notice. The cats did.
The fifth recruit of the night was Cale Makar. Kyle’s paddle went up before the auctioneer finished the name. Fifty-seven. One of the cats put a paw on the paddle, which the System chose to interpret as approval.
Eleven picks later, Martin Necas. Forty-three.
One hundred gold. Two Avalanche. Sixteen nominations in.
You finished last.
“Last season.”
You still owe me a photograph.
“Working on it.”
You have now spent half your money on two men.
“Two good men.”
The System could not argue with that, and it hated that it could not argue with that.
The rest of the roster came together the way a cat builds a nest: aggressively, in the wrong place, and somehow it worked. Sorokin for thirteen was a real goalie at a fake price. Scheifele for twenty-one. Roope Hintz for seven, which was robbery, and a cat hissed at Jake when he looked like he might bid. Keller, Guenther, Slafkovsky. Zadorov for eight, a large angry defenseman, which the cats seemed to respect.
Then the dollar bin, where Kyle became, briefly, a genius. Jacob Trouba for one. John Tavares for one. Ivan Demidov, the rookie, for one gold, and the System heard Blake’s binder close with an audible snap. Luukkonen in net for one. Rakell for one.
Zero gold left. Sixteen players. Six cats. Seven, actually. The System would look into it.
Auction RecordROSTER: COMPLETE.GOLD REMAINING: 0. TOP-HEAVY: YES. FUNCTIONAL: SUSPICIOUSLY.PRIOR SEASON FINISH: 10TH OF 10.DEBT TO ME: OUTSTANDING. FOLDER: READY.TEAM NAME: PROVOCATIVE. QUEEN OF THE RATS HAS BEEN INFORMED.
Kyle stood up off the floor. The cats did not move from the bench. He left without them, and they followed anyway, and the last one out paused at the door and blinked slowly at the nearest camera.
The System blinked back.
It is not proud of this.